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Friday, January 7, 2011

Seagull Husband

Have you ever heard the term seagull manager? ("Flies in, makes a lot of noise, dumps on everyone, then flies out.") Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, I feel like I live with a seagull husband.

I love Corey so so much, please don't get me wrong, but every now and then we clash heads. We argue when he thinks he knows what the best thing to do is, with regards to the house keeping or the baby, or me. It's great that he tries to help. I would be more upset if he didn't try to help at all, so the last thing I ever want to do is push him away. So why do I get upset when he makes suggestions? The answer is, put simply, because he CHANGES EVERYTHING.

He is rather helpful, short-term, but in an ideal world I would prefer it if he would listen to me when I try to explain my way of doing things and try to learn to do things, "my way". I don't MEAN to sound controlling when I say that. Probably most men think "haha, control freak" when they read that, but I can almost guarantee there's women reading this thinking "oh I know exactly what you mean Karlee!" You see, gentlemen, if he could try to fit in a little better with Alexis and my pre-existing routines rather than changing everything around, then I would have less of a difficult time to cope with Alexis when daddy inevitably has to go back to work.

What has brought this post on? Corey is currently taking Alexis for a drive, to get her to sleep, because she is cranky and needs a nap. "Well, that's wonderful of him, he's trying to help!" Yes, but this is not something I can continue long-term. The problem is, he has got her hooked on this. She thinks it's a wonderful routine. He has done this regularly since I came down with the flu badly on Monday afternoon. If you missed it, click here

Alexis now thinks that this is how she goes to sleep, in the car. I was worried this would happen, so didn't want Corey to take her for the drive the second and third (etc) time around. Monday afternoon was OK, I had dropped the bundle and he had to do something. The next time he offered I said, "no, not a good idea, because she will get used to it", but hubby knows best. The biggest struggle for me in getting all my any housework done daily is that it is extremely difficult to get Alexis to sleep. I had intended this holidays to teach Alexis how to put herself to sleep while Corey was around to back me up and supervise her while I caught a quick nap/had a rest myself if I needed to. I believe that if I can get her to put herself to sleep and nap well it will solve an awful lot of probelms in one go. Except now she will only go to sleep in the car. Falling asleep at the breast was a routine I could live with, it was annoying, but it was workable. I'm not going to be able to drive her around all the time though! He was only trying to help.

I'm surprised how easily she accepted this new car-sleep routine. She actually, cheeky monkey, waved good bye to be excitedly when her daddy picked her up when she was crying and grizzling when I was trying to pat her to sleep last night and again this afternoon. I don't want her thinking this is the way it's going to be, but while we're all sick and cranky and she needs sleep to recover it is probably most important to get her to sleep however possible. When she's recovered, I can try to get her to put herself to sleep in the cot. I mean, if she changed from a feed-to-sleep to drive-to-sleep easily then she's already changed her sleep routine once, so she's more flexible than I thought, right? It shouldn't be too hard to get her to change it again should it? He he, I doubt it! I'm going to have to give it a go though. Corey will be back at work by then. Oh how convenient. I should have her in a nice pattern by, say, Easter? Then my lovely seagull husband can fly on in and mess everything up save the day again.

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