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Sunday, May 1, 2011

The post that got deleted.



I posted this on Saturday afternoon and deleted it Saturday night after being discouraged from a few comments saying I was cranky, a typical woman (actually I'll take that one as a compliment but anyway), disrespectful, stupid, and un-Christ-like (which is fancy Christian speak for shame on you, you bad terrible selfish person). I doubt, going by the people who wrote the comments, that they meant to hurt me. They are lovely people, probably trying to help, but at the time it did get me down, because I was well quite frankly a hormonal pregnant woman. I had a "woe is me I suck at everything" moment and managed to stop myself deleting my entire blog (which I am tempted to do when it causes problems because really it just seems to cause so much hassle lately) by just deleting that one post. My husband, of all people, was terribly upset that I had deleted it. He thought it was quite funny. I had his full permission to post it before I posted it, and he laughed while he read it. So why would I take somebody else's opinion over his? Dealing with critics is, I realise, something I am going to have to deal with. When I encourage open commenting I am occasionally going to be challenged by feedback I don't wish to hear. That doesn't mean I have to let it force me into the foetal position crying like a school girl (or pregnant woman for that matter). I don't want to offend my readers, however if I wish to have an interesting blog with a diverse subject matter, I'm going to have to get a little controversial at times. So, call me disrespectful, young, rude, immature, heathen, I don't care. I'm learning. I'm putting myself out there. I'm identifying with other mums, and I'm pretty sure if we're all honest with ourselves we've had similar moments to this following scenario. So I am reposting my post from a draft I had saved in my emails. I want to make it perfectly clear that I love, cherish, and respect my husband. I do however think that sometimes he does stupid things. As we all do. This is one occasion that I think he should learn from, but he won't. I can't change him, and it's foolish to try, but why not have a laugh about it anyway. So here is the post, "sweetheart I love you, but GET LOST!"

Argh just a little petty whinge for now. I have much more to blog about but posts like that will take a while to post. I'm looking for solidarity ladies. Or tell me to harden up if you like. ;)

Corey took Alexis to swimming this morning and I stayed home to have a sleep because I had a rough night. It's a 10:30 lesson, so not super early. I had been up with Alexis for 3 hours before they left. The original plan with Corey taking Alexis to swimming lessons on Saturday mornings was so that I could vacuum and mop the floors while they were out, but since I've been pregnant I pretty much sleep the whole time. This is not a new development.

He knew I'd probably have a sleep. As he was leaving he said "what are we doing for lunch?" I said "I don't know but don't get take away (we are over budget for awhile coz he just bought himself a laptop) we can work it out when you get home." "Can you put something in the oven?" "No I'm tired I'm having a sleep."   A few minutes later I messaged him "we will have either peanut butter sangas or canned spaghetti, up to you."

Now what I'm hoping is that other people with brains will agree that conservation could be interpreted quite easily as "leave me alone I'm tired, I'm pregnant, I've had a rough night, I am going to have a sleep.  If you are hungry when you get home raid the pantry or fridge. You are, rumour has it, an intelligent young man. Work it out for yourself."    

I then went to sleep.

He rang me after swimming. First on my mobile. He didn't leave a message. Then he rang the house phone and left a message, "hey I couldn't get you on your mobile, spaghetti sounds good." What the heck!? What is wrong with his brain that he feels the need to wake me up to ask for spaghetti? It takes 90 seconds to heat it up!

When they got home Alexis was asleep, so I could easily have had an extra hour of sleep. He had no need to bother me. He said he had rung to warn me that Alexis was asleep in case I was vacuuming, possibly, but he didn't mention it on the answering machine message.

What angered me the most was his attitude when he got home. He knew I was tired and cranky this morning. He knew I was up most of last night. He knows I sleep while they're at swimming. He knows the home phone with the answering machine is beside our bed but just out of rolling distance, that it is obnoxiously loud, and that it continues to beep until you get up and replay the message.  There was absolutely no reason why he needed to call me either, in my opinion. We have had this discussion several times before.  

Now if he had said, 'I'm sorry, I didn't think" that would have been fine. But he said "you should have had the home phone off the hook". Yes, usually when I'm trying to sleep during the day I take the phone off the hook but that is when Alexis is home with me. I won't take the phone off the hook when Alexis is at swimming lessons in case there is an emergency and Corey needs to contact me.  To me that is common sense. I'd hate for there to be an accident and Corey frantically be trying to call me while I blissfully sleep. That would be terrible.

I expected a comment along the lines of don't overeact or don't be unreasonable, but no. My delicate little wallflower of a husband replied with this, "well what if I need you during the day at work and I can't get you. What if I have an emergency." My comment of "you're a grown man you can look after yourself" was not well received.

What do you think, blog readers, was it unreasonable of me to be cross with him? Or do you know first hand the frustration of a husband just not getting what "this is me time" means? How do you explain to your beloved that you care very much about him but if he continues to bother you for no reason you are likely to find the nearest blunt object and drive it into his skull? What do you then do when he laughs at you and says, "you are cute when you're angry"?

Now I'm cuddling Alexis back to sleep he is in my face asking how long to heat the spaghetti for. My response? (Harsh whisper) "READ THE CAN!"

He's never gonna learn is he? ;-)            

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At May 2, 2011 at 3:09 PM , Blogger Julie said...

I couldn't find anything wrong with your blog sounds like you need to upgrade Corey to Husband 1.2, hehehe. My hubby can be painful at times too, but I'm sure being pregnant and not getting enough sleep (for me, it's making multiple visits to the loo throughout the evening) doesn't help. ;-)


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