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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Can't do it all

I just can't get everything done. How the heck am I supposed to? It annoys me silly when I read status updates or hear friends tell me that they are bored. How, prey tell, do they have time to get bored. For me there seems no shortage of things to do. Ever. How do mums get everything done so they can afford the luxury of getting bored.

I have a few theories. Maybe they have extremely supportive husbands with cushy jobs who have time to do lots of work around the house. Or maybe they nag nag nag until he does it. Or maybe they're super fast. Or maybe they don't play with their kids or read stories. Maybe they live off takeaway. 

Maybe they are skinny so they don't have much washing. Maybe they just wear things multiple times (either they have no sense of smell or they aren't clumsy). Maybe their kids aren't obsessed with spreading random items such as underpants and teatowels from one end of the house to the other. Maybe their house is dustproof, cobweb-proof, ant-proof, fly-proof and grassy-footprint-proof. Maybe their kids don't poo a zillion times a day. Maybe they stick baby plates cups bowls and spoons in the dishwasher even though it says not to. Maybe they don't get interupted by annoying things like having to use the bathroom.  

Maybe they don't get tired, use Facebook, blog, whinge, waste time feeling like a colossal failure, or just get lost in the hopeless feeling that one just cannot win no matter how hard one tries. Or maybe they know full well how futile it is trying to "win" against a messy house so they have stopped trying. Are there special glasses one can wear to blot out all that's wrong with the place? Is there a way to walk into the bathroom and look straight past the mould?

I know too much. I know that we are constantly sick. I know that the hygiene standards of my house are lacking. We need to be well. I can't tell you the details until I get permission but we really want to go visit someone who we basically need a doctors note saying healthy before we can. We just are sick. Sick sick sick. Realistically we are sick from playgroup, church, hubby's work, the supermarket, the hospital where I had the ultrasound, mum who was sick when she graciously babysat... take your pick..  but I'm really trying to get the house right so we don't keep reinfecting ourselves.  

This internal source of pressure I constantly fight that says I have to do everything right is a real bitch. The more I do the more I notice needs to be done. My husband's apparent apathy never sits well with me. Really he's just sick and stressed and he has every right to rest after work, but it drives me nuts that he feels comfortable and confident resting when I can't because I know how much needs to be done. I hate asking him to do things when he's ill but he doesn't understand that there is no point saying to me "sit down and rest" if the job that is tormenting me is still there to torment me the next day.

It never seems to be my turn to be my turn to be sick. Either Alexis is sick or he is sicker than me. So I feel too guilty to sit around idly doing nothing. The problem is I bust my chops doing too much too quickly in the mornings and it gets to the cooler part of the afternoon and I crumble, with only half of the to-do-list actually achieved. By the time Corey gets home I'm down to one-word answers. He's in my face "what's wrong with you" and I'm like "I'm just extremely tired." "Oh I know I'm tired too," he says as he sits himself down, "what's for dinner". We seem to be miscommunicating somehow.  

The next day I start again, with more work and less energy than the day before.

How the heck does anyone get everything done?  

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At June 2, 2011 at 11:30 PM , Blogger Gemma @ My Big Nutshell said...

maybe 'they' are faking it, with a smile. grrrrrr.

At June 3, 2011 at 12:45 PM , Blogger reanaclaire said...

Hello.. I am in the midst of looking for mommy blogs to write some parenting reviews on a kid's product. If you are interested, do let me know via email and I will furnish you with more details.




At June 4, 2011 at 1:08 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I will say I am bored even though there is a tonne of stuff to do around the house, it's just that I don't want to do those things - they aren't interesting. So, it's not for a lack of something to do, and there would be few days I get through everything I was meant to do.Hang in there though, you're doing a great job!


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