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Monday, August 29, 2011


I know I'm not meant to be using any swear words but I've had this in my head and I can't get it out. Sometimes I am delusional and think people need to read this stuff just have to let my creative side out.

This is a public health announcement of a current epidemic wreaking havoc in families across Australia. It can infect anyone at anytime but it seems to prey on pregnant women and young mothers. Symptoms include indecisiveness, yelling, apathy, rudeness, being easily offended and sudden mood swings. It can either go unnoticed for some time or can be easily identified. It is most often referred to using its acronym, BITCH. Being Incredibly Tired Cranky and Hormonal.

The only cure for BITCH seems to be sleep. Sleep works best in conjunction with Compassion, Understanding, Grace, and Forgiveness. BITCH symptoms are exacerbated by environmental stress, so they clear up faster when combined with a reduction in housework, but only if the housework is performed by somebody else. If people suffering from a BITCH disorder are expected to drop household tasks but no one can pick up the slack it tends to lead to Stress, Helplessness, Irritability and Tension.

The biggest mistake people make when interacting with people suffering from Being Incredibly Tired Cranky and Hormonal is to treat them as though they were just being Beligerent Incompetent Tyranical Controlling and Hostile. There is some speculation that the latter disorder comes from long term suffering of undiagnosed Being Incredibly Tired Cranky and Hormonal but scientific research remains inconclusive. It is increasingly apparent, however, that ignoring or mistreating symptoms of Being Incredibly Tired Cranky and Hormonal and lead to a chronic state of B.I.T.C.H.I.N.E.S.S, which is Being Incredibly Tired Cranky and Hormonal In a Never Ending Snappy State.

If someone you love is displaying the tendency to B.I.T.C.H encourage them to seek help now, before it's too late.

This is all completely bogus of course and I'm not medically trained, but if you found it slightly amusing you might want to read about the "ailment" I "discovered" in January, called Comparison

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At September 2, 2011 at 10:02 AM , Blogger Crash Test Mummy said...

Bwahaha! Love it. You are very clever!
Visiting from FYBF.

At September 2, 2011 at 10:14 AM , Blogger The Mummy Hat said...

LMAO! Thanks for a great read!

Stopping by from FYBF

At September 2, 2011 at 10:15 AM , Blogger Alex aka WHOA MUMMA! said...

You're a legend! I think I'm suffering from the 'condition' myself. I've heard a cure is an all expenses paid holiday (alone) to Tahiti.

At September 2, 2011 at 11:20 AM , Blogger Toushka Lee said...

I have suffered from this many times!

At September 2, 2011 at 12:23 PM , Blogger bloggingmumof3 said...

hehe i love it. will tell dh next time that that is my condition

At September 2, 2011 at 1:03 PM , Blogger Eloise said...

I was diagnosed with BITC&H in my early teens. Im afraid its a condition I will have for life :)

At September 2, 2011 at 2:54 PM , Blogger The Mother Experiment said...

thanks for your comments everyone. :)
Alex aka WHOA MUMMA, wouldn't that be nice!!!

At September 3, 2011 at 10:46 PM , Blogger Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

I'm in a permanent state of BITCH it would seem


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