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Food, we used to be friends!

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Saturday, October 1, 2011

Food, we used to be friends!

OK, so if you've read any of my posts lately you'll know I haven't been feeling so great. Food and my digestive system have been declaring war on each other. I suspect the war is funded by the small gremlin little cherub occupying my whole freaking body womb. I love him dearly, but if he expects me to carry him inside for at least 3 more weeks then he had better shift over and make some room for food!

I am the sort of person who really needs food. I've never been a skinny person or a dieter, but I've never been massively huge either, I hope. Food and I normally get along pretty well. I like eating food, food is made to be eaten, it's a match made in heaven. I can normally put away about the same as any man and not pay for it too badly later. Normally. Yet lately a drastic chain of events has occurred.

A brief but powerful bout of gastro illness was closely followed by my womb monkey growing in size. Now I know I should have expelled all the nasties by now but my gut hasn't caught up with that. It seems my stomach capacity has shrunken to minuscule proportions, and the parts of the digestive system that clear food from ones body seem to be stuck at warp speed. Add to this my gorgeous but terrifying womb monkey thrashing around like the walls are caving in if I dare to eat anything so big as a grape, and you can see that this tired mumma is close to wit's end.

I still crave food. I long for it. I yearn for it. I know it will cause me pain but I must eat it, because without eating it I cannot function, cannot support this human life inside me, and turn into a heinous bitch cannot interact with the human race. So food and I have continued to see each other. Unfortunately, our encounters of late have been fleeting at best. The meaningless, shallow encounters have done little more than leave me feeling dirty and used and a little bit sore. I keep foolishly hoping for the moment food realises I am friend not foe and our relationship can be a happy one of nourishment and fulfillment once again.

My husband is a good friend of food, so we thought he might mediate our gathering at a nice peaceful restaurant. My husband ordered a nice big helping of food. I did not know where I stood with regards to food, so I ordered something modest.

My husband ordered this
I stuck with this


My husband and food are still good friends. Corey finished his rack of ribs and is feeling fine. I had about a quarter to a third of my steak and maybe half of the mashed potato? Within minutes it was evident that food and I are still not on pleasant terms. My digestive system has in fact been punishing me for daring to interact with said food for the last three hours. This is heart breaking. 

 Digestive system, please, I implore you, be reconciled with food. Food is our friend. We need food. Food, I beg of you, don't hate me! Please! Womb monkey, well, I love you sweetheart, and you are so very precious to me, but can you cut mummy some slack occasionally? Please baby. Food can be your friend too, really, just give it a chance. 


On a more serious note, has anyone got any tips on foods that I should be eating/avoiding? Corey and I had a date night tonight so this dinner was planned ages in advance and I wasn't going to cancel. I don't normally eat steak and mash etc but anything is tending to cause problems at the moment. I'm suspecting it might have something to do with the orange juice I am supposed to drink to help me absorb the iron tablets. My body probably isn't used to the iron tablets again after the gastro. Hmm, only three ish weeks to go til due date, I can do this, just breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...Seriously, any tips? 


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4 Comments:

At October 2, 2011 at 10:29 AM , Blogger Jess@Diary of a SAHM said...

No tips sorry. Hopefully it will get better soon.

This post was hilarious! Best you've ever written!

 
At October 7, 2011 at 3:23 PM , Anonymous Amanda @ Not A Ballerina said...

Uggh sounds miserable :-( No particular tips only that when I was pregnant it was the heartburn that killed my food variety and I had to avoid tomatoes, chilli, oranges, curry, chocolate ... basically anything that tasted good! Good luck with it though!
And thanks for taking part in Not A Ballerina's Weekend Wanderings!

 
At October 7, 2011 at 3:51 PM , Blogger The Mother Experiment said...

Thanks ladies. I've got my appetite back now and its so good I've actually got energy again. The heartburn is bad though. The midwife suggested to get some meds from the chemist but I'm reluctant to put any more random junk into my body than I need to. That and I'm too scabby.

 
At October 9, 2011 at 2:21 PM , Blogger Amanda said...

I was the same - just put up with the heartburn. It finally left a week or two before the small boy arrived. It was the longest period in my life that I ever went without chocolate. Something I will remind the small boy of when he is older!

 

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