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Me and you Monday - week 3 - lucky me

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Monday, January 16, 2012

Me and you Monday - week 3 - lucky me

 Hey all

This past week has been difficult for me. It's had good moments but I'm glad it's over. I didn't set myself any goals for last week and I'll explain why: it was going to be epic. It was bigger than I thought.

We were in Gladstone for the funeral from Sunday to Tuesday. Alexis was sick (couldn't even keep water down) for the majority of the drive home. On Wednesday morning Corey had to leave for a business trip.

So here I was, by myself with 2 under 2, for the first time since before Christmas. William probably didn't remember the last time Corey was away. He might not have even remembered Corey being at work. I don't know how much a 3 month old remembers. I had been up with William for most of the night because he'd slept most of the way home that day. Alexis was restless. It was a hot day with temperature in mid 30s. I was panicking. oh and I was covered from head to toe in mosquito bites that I had reacted to terribly and they were bleeding and oozing with pus and very painful. I'm a bit allergic.

The first little while was very awkward then I was really getting into the swing of it except I had so much needing to be done that was hanging over my head. Going to Gladstone for the funeral was a last minute decision so we weren't able to leave the house in the kind of state I'd like and seeing as Corey had been home only to sleep and do a few quick things like get stinky car seat out etc we hadn't fully unpacked yet. Fortunately mum and dad came to give me a hand from lunch time ish and the next night as well. I wasn't feeling great so didn't get much done but I'm so thankful for mum and dad handling the washing and dishes and cleaning out the grotty car seat.

 Friday I handled both kids on my own fine and even took them to the shops to buy a present for Alexis' friend Mackenna who just turned 2. I also went to the chemist for bite creams and woollies for a few essentials. The kids were feral at Woolworths. Thats a story for another day. I did the best I could.

Corey was not gone long but even with him home it's been tricky. Alexis is pushing our buttons often. She's getting her eye teeth, which must be hurting because she's very clingy at times. Shes starting to get jealous of William every now and then because it must seem to her like I am always feeding. William didn't feed much while we were away so my milk supply reduced which was bad when we got home and he wanted to catch up no all those mixed feeds. Both kids find me a little boring after all the excitement of the summer holidays. Alexis is trying to do everything herself and having tantrums and melt downs at the drop of a hat when she can't do it. If she needs help she needs help "NOW!" and me being exhausted and Corey recovering from a bout of food poisoning hasn't helped.

I'm getting fairly down about needing people to come bail me out around the house so often. I want to be able to keep on top of it but I don't know how. William still wakes often at night (although he only woke once last night!) and even Alexis isn't guaranteed to sleep through. I am physically and emotionally drained. Constantly. I wake feeling tired and I crash every night. If I get both kids down together during the day I nap. If one kid is down the other demands one on one time. If neither is down I have to watch Alexis like a hawk because she loves William so much but doesn't realise how fragile babies are. 

Plus we've been a bit busy and ive been a bit clumsy. I cant catch a break in that regard: when things are good I mess them up. On Saturday arvo I banged my head in the shower. Ouch!!! We had visitors Saturday night which was fun but I ate stuff I shouldn't and William reacted badly to it. The kids were up a little late and got overtired and woke often. We had a party to go to Sunday. It was great until the pouring rain scared us away. It was time to go anyway coz Alexis was exhausted. I let Alexis eat too much sugar because I was more interested catching up with my friends than watching her. She stayed awake the whole way home though of course and wouldn't nap. Late yesterday arvo I was trying to read stories to Alexis when her iPod dock fell off the drawers onto my head. My poor head.

So yeah, it wasn't my favorite week in history that's for sure. Still if that's all I have to complain of I am a lucky girl (no sarcasm).

I had hoped for this week's goal to be to have a nice quiet week adjusting the kids back to normality and trying to set up some boundaries with Alexis to make life more manageable. I had hoped but just my luck I can't have it that way. The real estate wants to inspect our house next week so I have to spend this week cleaning. At least its not too dirty but I need to do a wide spread tidy first. Corey will need to do the lawns on the weekend so there goes our nice relaxing family weekend. Oh well, at least by next week's post we should have the house totally clean. Ish.

I really want to get back to cleaning out the cupboards so it's easier to keep things tidy but that'll have to wait. Part of being a parent is learning which goals to cling to and which to shelve for a little while.

Yeah I am the littlest bit frustrated at the moment. I feel so inadequate. Useless at times. Yet when these kids smile at me it's all worth it. Almost. Pretty much. I love them dearly, I really do. They are both so funny and so clever and so strong and so playful and so sweet. I wish I could be supermum but for now just being slightly-dodgy-but-they-love-me-anyway-mum will have to do. 

Tell me your goals and how you went throughout the week. I'm hoping to read some good news.

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At January 16, 2012 at 8:34 AM , Blogger Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

At January 16, 2012 at 1:35 PM , Blogger Debbie @ Aspiring Mum said...

It is hard Karlee. It's hard to juggle everything when the kids are still so dependent - and you feel like you're being torn in every direction. It's hard to be everything to everyone! I never thought I'd see the light at the end of the tunnel - but I'm here. I made it! I remember the hard slog that it was - and you'll get there. We often feel like we're stuck in a moment when the kids are so little - feeling helpless at times about what's happening around us because we're constantly needed. It's nice to be needed/wanted/loved - but at the same time it's okay to want our own breathing space too :)

PS. There is no such thing as 'supermum' - a SUPER mum, yes - and by the sounds of it, you're one of those!

At January 16, 2012 at 2:00 PM , Blogger SportyMummy said...

Karlee, I remember what is was like having 2 under 2 and it was hard. Quite honestly the hardest thing I have done in my life! From reading your blog I just know that your kids are so lucky to have you as their mum!

At January 16, 2012 at 2:12 PM , Blogger The Mother Experiment said...

awww thanks heaps Debbie.

At January 16, 2012 at 2:13 PM , Blogger The Mother Experiment said...

Thanks Nic. I really am a lousy mum at times but they seem to love me anyway. sometimes I must be awesome. lol

At January 16, 2012 at 7:50 PM , Blogger Rhianna said...

Karlee you are not just an amazing mum but an amazing person to boot. The fact that you not only realize your limitations but share them with the world is fantastic. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses for a wonderful week, may a little cleaning elf be by your side xxxx

At January 16, 2012 at 7:51 PM , Blogger Rhianna said...

Oh and I forgot to say thanks for putting my link up and supe big thanks for adding my button as well xxx

At January 16, 2012 at 8:12 PM , Blogger The Mother Experiment said...

You're most welcome :-)

At January 16, 2012 at 8:56 PM , Blogger Julie said...

The tiredness is a killer. But you are doing a fabulous job. Living with little ones is so intense (I now go to work to have a break 2 days a week!), but you are doing something of infinite and eternal value. Even if you think what you are doing is "slightly dodgy", as you say, they love you anyway. You are their world!

At January 17, 2012 at 2:36 PM , Blogger Kristy said...

I have to echo everyone else's words.... stay strong and keep smiling sweetie! Your an awesome chick and that makes you an awesome Mum without you even having to try!! There is a light.... I can see mine somewhere in the distance and it's getting closer and closer every day! Your's will come soon too!



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